Zoe is in tears. So am I.
Daily tally:
Hitting? yes
Pushing? yes
General sauciness? Oh, yes.
Kicking? Yep.
Corner standing- 3
Spankings- 3
Yikes.
It has been one of those days. I haven't had one of these in quite some time. Is it worse because I am pregnant, tired, and my patience is thinner than ever? I guess so. It's also the fact that parenting.is.hard. I have done some hard things in my life- this is by far the most trying thing I've ever been a part of.
I had that moment today where my kid- MY kid for heaven sakes- was the bully. She pushed, pulled, hit, and eventually kicked, this little boy today. Of course, HE was being a little angel. It would have been so much better if he was antagonizing her or SOMETHING! Nope. She was just being mean. I almost took her to our priest for her first confession- I needed to make mine too, of course, for my anger. After standing in the corner and getting a spanking, she went to the little bpy and said she was sorry. The mom didn't seen too impressed. Can you blame her?
I remember when Zoe was getting pushed around in the church playroom- I still keep a "hawk eye" on those kids when I see them in the playroom.
I know, I know. It's age...it will pass. Or so more experienced moms tell me. I cannot stand the obstinate disobedience that we have been going through lately, but I REALLY can't stand just plain, old rudeness.
I tell her, "We are kind to other people because we love Jesus, and Jesus tells us to love everyone else, too," or, "Mommy and Daddy have to obey God, and you have to obey us." I also try secular/social logic, "You don;t like it when people hurt you, so you shouldn't hurt other people," or, you have to be kind to your friends or they will not want to play with you."
I'm just making this stuff up as I go along. I mean, how do I know what I'm telling her makes any difference? or if it's sending the right message?
I don't think that every little thing I say will greatly impact her life, but we are at a whole new stage in parenting. I see her mimicking me constantly, yet I tell her to be kind and generous with people, and my temper flares up with her after 2 minutes of disobedience.
I try not to write this too often, but I am hormonal and feeling a semi-crisis coming on: Mom, I need your help! I wish you were here to give me parenting advice. How did you do it? Did you intuitively know the right things to say? Do I just remember all of the wisdom and none of the mistakes you made while parenting me? Does it get easier? (wait- don't answer that one.) And while I'm asking questions- how on earth did you always look so good and have 2 kids? Seriously.
I realize this is a little less upbeat than my usual post, but I thought I'd be "real" in the difficult moments as well as the joyous.
Lent is nearly upon us, so I hope to use this time of the Fast in practicing patience and love, being slow to anger and quick to prayer. I hope the same for you.
